I've got the hunger for Michael Munger!

OK, so he the libertarian candidate running in NC and I live in NY, but how could you NOT vote for someone who looks like this?

An epiphany - I literally watched paint dry yesterday

So, our office needs a little retouching, and they were testing different colors on the walls in the office before making the final decision. Since there is no work in yet and some of the office were out on business trips/vacation, some co-workers and I walked around to look at the fresh paint.

"Wow, look at that color, kind of ugly"
"It's not even dry yet, it will change when it is"

As we stood and looked for a few minutes, it hit me. I was standing there, at work, watching paint dry. ACTUALLY WATCHING PAINT DRY.

Please, for the love of God, let something happen at my building. A hostage crisis, fire, Kool-Aid guy crashing through the wall. SOMETHING, ANYTHING, this is TORTURE!

Surf's up, Bra!

I am starring in a new reality TV show!!!

Yep. It's true. I am now starring in my own TV show. Actually, I have been on it for a while now from what I can tell. I'll call it the "Carlo Monte Show"(it doesn't have a title yet). I don't remember signing a contract or waiver for this show but maybe I was drunk or something when that happened? I also don't see any cameras or crew, but they are probably hidden really really well. It also seems there is no promotion for the show, so I have to promote it myself here on myspace. Anyway, the basic premise is constantly annoy me with some wacky situations to see if I can keep my cool. I am sure to everyone watching it's a laugh riot. Some of the funny highlights of season one include:

- I'm hungry! Let's go to a drive-thru! Watch the hilarity ensue when someone pulls right in front of me at the drive-thru window and takes forever to order because they do not know what they want and need to look over the menu, even though most of the menus have not changed since dinosaurs roamed the Earth. LOL! Will I just park the car and go in or will I ram the person's car? TUNE IN AND FIND OUT!

- I need to pick something up at the store! Damn, someone just beat me and my one item to the counter! Their bill is $5. Here comes the coupons! Here comes the credit card and/or checkbook! LMAO! Will I take their stuff and throw it on the floor while cutting the line or will I wait patiently and curse myself? TUNE IN AND FIND OUT!

- I used to park for free, but the Stop and Shop manager has now decided to take back the parking lot! Now I have to pay for parking which will cost me an extra $75 a month. Damn! Another person beat me to the "I feel like working about 65% of the time" parking machine! It's high comedy when they cannot insert the dollars correctly or want to pay for 12 hours of parking with nickels. Will I go into Stop and Shop and snap kick the new manager in the throat? Will I give the nickel person a UFC-style chokeout? TUNE IN AND FIND OUT!

- Damn, traffic on the I-95 again! Luckily, I start on the service road. Oh, everyone gets off the highway onto the service road to beat the traffic! Wait, now there's traffic on the highway and the service road! It's OK because I have a secret way to go to work even though it sucks that it's only one lane. What's this? A senior citizen has gotten in front of me! Wow, such a safe diver. He likes to go 20MPH slower than the posted speed limit. God bless him. Will I attempt to pass him and risk a head on collision or will I just follow him and catch up on some sleep. TUNE IN AND FIND OUT!

Some may call it a knock-off of MTV's "Boiling Points" but that's not true because I never win any money on this show, which sucks. There IS the possibility that everything that happens to me is bad luck/divine mandate, but that is just pure lunacy if you ask me. I'm a strong believer in the whole reality TV thing.

PS

Just wait until Season 2! It will even better as it follows all of the crazy happenings of my nightlife and some of the kooky characters I have come to know and love!

Like a zombie he rises...

Time to update again...

When You Party

PARTY HARD!

WTF Volume 1

Can you explain this?

Old People Need Their Licenses Revoked!

I was trapped behind an old man on a one lane road. He was riding his brake the WHOLE way even though there was nothing in front of him. Grandpa - take the handicapped parking placard, shove it up your ass, and get the fuck outta my way!!!!

World Of Warcraft Level Cap Raised To 80 In The Next Expansion!

Nerds everywhere rejoice! People like me who have a life outside the game aren't as thrilled.

Kyle Farnsworthless, You Suck

Seriously, get this scrub off the team. As I type this he has given up two home runs vs the White Sox, effectively putting the game out of reach.

Oh my goodness gracious

Seriously, the Yankees can't get ANYONE better than this imbecile? How does a commentator have a voice that sounds like a dying cat?

HOW DOES ONE OF THE MOST RECOGNIZABLE SPORTS FRANCHISES GET STUCK WITH A COMMENTATOR LIKE THIS?!?!

http://rogerisback.ytmnd.com/

Hello, is this thing on?

OMG I just started to learn to use the Internets and I'm so excited(and I just can't hide it).