Wednesday, July 9, 2008

George Costanza Logic

"If every instinct you have is wrong, than the opposite would have to be right" - Jerry Seinfeld.

I am going to try this. I will report back with my findings.

Friday, June 13, 2008

George Michael(Gay 80's Pop Star) Vs In Flames(Melodic Death Metal)

So, I was in Best Buy the other day, and was checking out the music section. At the end of the day, I had two CDs in my hands. One was Georger Michael's "25" a greatest hits compilation, in the other, was "The Mirror's Truth", the new album from In Flames. I wound up purchasing the George Michael CD. In Flames just sucks balls now. It's amazing how bands that were so good could fall so far. Yes, a metal band was beaten out by a pop star. Terrible.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Yanks Split Series At Home With Royals

The Royals didn't even need the guy above. Just Jose Guillen(or was it Carlos?). The Royals were on a horrendous losing streak, came to the stadium and took 2. It could have easily have been 3 if not for an improbable comeback. So, this is what the 2008 Yankees are, a team that struggled to split a home series against one of the worst teams in the league.

Also, Ed Montague can go somewhere and die. He blew not one but two calls this series, one of which was the worst call I have seen in baseball after watching it for 25+ years.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Chef Gordon Ramsay Vs The Local Burger King

I would LOVE for this to happen. Every time I go to it, they ALWAYS FUCK UP some aspect of the order. No ketchup, no sauce, missing items, wrong items. Is it SO HARD to get a 4 item order correct? Last time out, I ordered a value menu item and some other things. Before I drove away I decided to check the bag, and it was a good thing I did. They FORGOT the item from the value order I placed. The place is filled with retards. So, I would love for this guy to pay a visit. I can see it now:

"You mixed the fries with the onion rings you JACKASS!"
"You forgot the napkins, DONKEY!"

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

You Drew A Cartoon, Therefore I Will Kill You

Amazing, absolutely amazing. Who knew drawing a picture of someone's imaginary friend could incite them to kill you. Usually, I would say "to each his own", it's not my business what some dumbass wants to believe. I would usually just snicker behind their backs for being so stupid, but it appears that if say or draw something wrong and you might get your head chopped off.

Religion of peace my ass.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

The Old Chinese Man and the Bells..

We have this old Chinese man here, and he has this problem with staring at the young girls who work in the office. This really pisses us off but we came up with the idea to ring a bell every time he looked at one of the girls. So while doing his work, he kept looking at one of the girls every few seconds, and he didn't seem to notice that every few seconds bells were going off. Maybe he did notice and didn't care. One thing for sure is, he annoys me and I want to punch him whenever he stares at one of them.

Friday, April 25, 2008

OMG, he's human!?!?

Joba took his first loss last night to the White Sox. I say the Yankees either demote him to AAA or release him.

I used to be a good hitter back in my day. One year, I found that I couldn't hit as good, and I though it was that the pitching was getting better. It turned out, my eyesight was going.

I now wear contacts, and just once I would like to see what it's like to face a major league pitcher like Joba Chamberlain. A 100MPH fastball and a disappearing slider? SIGN ME UP!